So, your estimated due date is getting closer and you are starting to get nervous. There are several things about your labor and birth experience that you truly want to happen but you aren’t sure what to do to ensure that they happen. You talk to someone from your parents group, read something on social media or hear from a dear friend that they hired a Doula, so you do some research. You realize you want a Doula too! So now…how do you get your partner on board if when you initially share your desire you see their hesitation.
You have decided that you truly want a Doula for your birth but your partner is worried that its a waste of money, or they worry that they will be pushed aside and not be able to be the main support person. Here are some reasons to share with them that will help them understand how valuable having a Doula is to both you and them!
1: Hiring a Doula will allow your partner to not feel so stressed to remember everything from every class you took during your pregnancy!
You remember… All of those classes to prepare yourself for your little one. All of that information that you were given! It can be overwhelming! Having a Doula at your labor and birth makes the stress of having to remember everything dissipate! Your partner can truly enjoy being your support person because they have someone there to help guide them to help you! Its a win-win!
2: Nurses and Doctors come and go, but a Doula is a constant presence.
Both doctors and nurses have other patients and they also have their own schedule. Shifts change and there is charting that needs to be done so they will not be able to remain by your bedside the entire time. In addition, there are some nurses and doctors that aren’t well versed in comfort measures, position changes and the like. Would you rather have someone that is by your side through your labor and birth that is there solely to enhance your birth experience or would you rather have nurses and doctors that are in and out all of the time?
3: Everyone has to use the restroom and eat eventually!
Even the human body has its needs and limits! There will be a time that your partner has to use the restroom or needs to nourish and hydrate but feels bad for leaving your side, so they suffer and compromise their own health and safety in the process. With a Doula present, your partner can leave to go and do those things without feeling as though they have abandoned you. That way they can be in tip top shape in order to continue to be your main support person. Your partner isn’t going to be what you need them to be if they can’t take moments to take care of themselves.
4: When everything feels like chaos; you have your Doula there to let you know that things “are normal” or to tell you “what to expect next”.
Sometimes labors can feel intense and may get a bit overwhelming. Having a constant support person that is educated and well versed in all things childbirth will help put your mind at ease. You won’t need to worry about what’s “normal” and what’s not or what to expect next so you can emotionally or physically prepare. An educated Doula will share all of that with you! They are there to be your childbirth guide and confidant. They are there to assure you what’s happening is “ok” and to educate you on what’s to come so that your partner can feel more confident and less nervous. A more confident partner equals a more confident laboring person and that leads to a positive birth experience for everyone involved!
5: A Doula is there to offer encouraging words and guidance to both of you.
When you hire a Doula that Doula is there for both you and your partner. An experienced Doula is able to guide, support, encourage and empower both you and your partner simultaneously. That way when you look back and the birth experience, you both will smile and view the birth experience as a positive one!
6: Your Doula is just a text/phone call/email away for each of you.
Support during your labor and birth is important but the support leading up to your special day is equally important. Your Doula will be a sounding board for both you and your partner. They will talk with both of you about your worries, concerns and fears as well as wishes and desires. Having an educated support person to be there for you both as your impending “birth” day approaches will help you both to feel ready and educated for your big day! Feeling educated, supported and validated will only lead to a more positive birthing experience for both of you!
Having a Doula can assist with these things and so may more during your pregnancy, birth and postpartum so that when you both look back at your entire experience you both feel loved, supported and empowered. Doulas are there to help enhance the birth experience and make it as close to your ideal birth experience as they possibly can. They are there to help and never hinder the bond that you and your partner have.
So take some time, interview several and find the best fit for your both. Listen to your intuition and it will never steer you wrong. Then you both can have a positive and amazing birth experience that you can reminisce on for years to come.